Tosh Dream.O

I had a dream that I was in Daniel Tosh's body. It was like Being John Malkovich. I'm at Tosh's dad's mansion (don't know if he has one in real life) and this super hot, fake boobs, ~5'10", Asian woman walks in wearing just a silk robe. No bra. Awesome. She says my dad got a gift for me. A massage. I have to go to the tent in the back yard.
I go out the back and there's basically a shed sized & shaped tent down the small hill past the giant fountain.
I go inside the tent and it has a hardwood floor and bamboo walls. On the floor is a body length mat, there's an open closet with lubes, oils, sex toys, and towels, a counter with a sink, and an oval shaped plate looking thing on the floor.
The woman comes in, totally nude. Boner commence. *now in real life, apparently have to pee. This gets forced into the dream* I tell the woman I have to pee. She motions toward the plate thing then steps out of the tent.
This "toilet bowl" is about 1" at its deepest. It has a drain at the back edge that is about the size and shape of a 2x1 Lego. I say fuck it and try to piss on the plate. It's already one of the most difficult and awkward things to piss in a REAL toilet with an erection. Even more so on what has the look and shape of a turkey platter that is sized for prairie chickens.
Needless to say, other than complete misses, plashes, and overflow due to improper drainage, I think I did pretty good. Mid urination she walks back in and watches. Doesn't give a fuck that it's everywhere. Must be common place. She throws some sawdust down around and into the platter to soak everything up and starts talking about how she's not a prostitute, she likes to give massages. I drown her out because I don't give a fuck.
I go to wash my hands and there's a sticker of a penis shaped sumo wrestler wearing a kimono and sandals. Just them the woman grabs the hair on the back of my head and presses her pelvis against my ass, pinning me to the counter. "If all I wanted was sex, I would just fuck you right now. But I don't" she let's go and walks back to the mat.
She motions toward the mat. "Shall we begin? Do you have any problem areas?"
That's when I wake up... God damn it!
I think it was going to be a Nuru massage based on the amount of oils.